RELATING WITH YOURSELF

The most important and most ignored issue is your relation with yourself.

Self relating is the beginning of expansion, prosperity, healing and development of your individuality not personality.

Self relating is the door to connect with the spiritual or the cosmos.

While the social system and training of the world is to connect with the other, that means how to use your self, your body, energy and mind to serve the other, to make money, to adjust in relation. You are trained and expected to let go of yourself, compromise yourself and sacrifice yourself for the sake of society, system and institutions. But this is possible only if you have no relation with yourself. This is possible if you have no sense of self worth. Hence self worth is repressed, judged as selfish and it is replaced and renamed  by a sense of social worth as self worth.

This means that your self-worth is dependent on social, economical, political, and religious criteria.

This is the first base pillar of your slavery into a system. 

LOOK around at people and at yourself that your self worth, your happiness, your actions, your success are defined by others.

If you feel down then inquire why you feel down you will find that reasons of feeling negative are not within you but rejection from outside.

When you live a life of social worth you constantly need energy, attention and validation from others. This need makes you dependent on others and it creates a deep unconscious enmity for someone you feel dependent on. This dependence is the root of all disasters in relations outside. This dependence is the reason for  attachment which is called love.

You feel good when people are dependent on you it can be because of your attributes, your status or money. In each case it's power politics because others are dependent on you. 

It goes on everywhere. In every relation in every work you want to feel indispensable.

When you need someone or something, you want to feel needed as well or to control. 

Please remember on a deep unconscious level a conflict, an enmity or hatred is also taking place  when you feel dependent on others. This gives birth to bitching about others, criticising judging others, all this in order to feel better than your object or person of dependence. 

It's not a good feeling to need somebody hence you try to have power over it by trying to become needed by others. But at the core it's a strategy of fear of the victim who is trying to control because one feels controlled. If you are unable to make others dependent you try to bring them down by social politics. Some people use fear to control others when they cannot get your energy as they are, they threaten or get destructive. Hence they receive attention.

This strategy you will see in all toxic people who do not or cannot have a creative possibility to get your energy then they use destructive ways to get it by emotional tantrum. They put your happiness hostage.

The bottom line: all the negative issues in society and yourself are arising out of your absent relation with yourself because you need others to define you. 

Even if you think you are confident and you have your self worth but in a deep way all your self worth in the context of socio psychological game. This game is what we call ego personality. Your name, your profession, your relations are coming from outside. 

Things you know about yourself are mostly told by others or in the context of others. Even when you say I do not need anybody or give a f*ck about anything but still your independence is based on denial of your dependency not the acknowledgment and appreciation arising out of your relation with yourself and life. 

This relation within is what all spiritual practices are about. This self relation is subjectivity or seed, like a dot in the center of a  mandala. The whole mandala is your circumference around you. The dot defines the mandala. Because mandala design is formed on and around the central dot. This dot is the master. This is state of creativity 

But in our personality there is no dot in the center but you are scattered  out into various people, situations and circumferences. This is a state of dependence. Your home and power is not within you but into others and theirs or social opinions and validations. You supply your center energy to others and create your center in others.This is a state of destruction,control politics and manipulation. 

All actions and relations which are based in dependence on others psychologically are going to be destructive

Such dependence even makes your relation to yourself destructive and self rejecting. I am nothing, nobody or no talent etc.

It's important to understand your life where it is so you can understand what it means to relate to yourself. Such an education or course does not exist in universities. All they teach you is moral ethical behaviours borrowed from people who had no idea about your relation to yourself to you body, to your energy and to your mind.

Till you cannot relate with yourself and be your friend which means you do not look at yourself from the eyes of others, relations, jobs and society.

Your only true friend is you. Everybody goes away but you are always there. 

But when anything or anybody goes you feel like shit because you do not like to be with yourself, as soon as you are alone you rush for entertainment friends to avoid yourself. 

You need to go through the suffering of being yourself first, the bored you facing it. If you can do that then you are going to the root cause of all your toxic situations, addictions, relations which arise out of not being able to be with yourself. Many criminals commit rape, crimes because it's exciting even it's dangerous or criminal but you are thrilled because you are able to avoid yourself. 

So first practical and painful training is to learn to be with yourself without scrolling, reading or talking. Just be with yourself and feel your body, listen to your thoughts etc.

 I will explain in detail about these easy to do human processes which are never taught and always told to do something to avoid yourself. 

You do not lack power and potential life force flows through you but you are never home but donating or spending your power on others to get their attention.

Material lifestyle is looking at outside and others to get attention and juice. 

Spiritual creative outlook is to stop rushing out and start to feel your own power and juice.

Then you don't do things out of validation but as an expression of your self which does not need others validation because it feels validated by life because you are alive and breathing. Such action is creativity love. Our cultures are made and defined by people who spent time with themselves and learned. They came up with art, poetry, science, and creativity which shaped our culture.

EXERCISE 1

Learning your mind

For a few pages write about your dependence, fears about friends and relation. 

Write about what you are studying or doing in life? 

Why are you doing it?Is it because  you want to do it or is it because it will get you validation.

Write about what you think about yourself and what you know about yourself.

Then find out what is that you know is yours or told by others.

Ask yourself what you believe about yourself, your career, your relationships, your image is it yours? or told by others from childhood.

Also write about what you feel about your body, your emotions. 

What you feel about your mind etc. 

In this area you will come up with words of others. Ask yourself have you really felt anything without giving it name, or opinion, or telling others but just feel and have first hand experience of your own body and energy. Have you felt your energy without naming it, rejecting it?

Have you felt your sexual energy sensuality attraction without having issues or judgments but just feeling the vibration of energy without indulging or rejecting.

This is the first step to move from others to yourself.

Next we will discuss how to relate to your body energy  and mind from inside not from outside as a critic but lover of life.

This is being true human and human this life this body is sacred rest comes later. 

For the cosmos, your body is its expression and creativity. To come in touch with your power and creativity you have to become friends with your own energy, body. Then your whole life starts to support you because life is alive. It knows how you feel about your life and life around and it responds to your toxic thinking. But if you start to appreciate your body life as a gift not a mistake then life starts to show ways. But you should be rolling to follow life. That means willing to change not following the stagnant state of mind but following alive state of energy flow. 

First you need to know your mind, your fears, your good points. 

Remember ,learn to be honest. This will sharpen your intelligence, express yourself as you feel in writing, don't play good boy or girl, express ,write, question, doubt all the things you  believe which are limiting you.

Intelligence is to be able to see the truth and creativity  is to apply that truth in your life but that's possible if you are not afraid to see the truth of yourself. That means not afraid of things which hurt you, that means not lying to yourself. 

Only then with a clear mind you can let your swadharma, the design of life for you can express but right now it's burdened by outside pressures. 

You need to roar and dare to be yourself.

Don't overlook what you feel and want, not focus only on what others feel or want

. 

It's about real life that means it's about you, the one which is breathing in you. That's your best friend, lover, companion and shiva himself. 

Right now you are your own enemy. The mind which was supposed to serve your life is repressing its own roots to create plastic flowers of social behaviours

You can forget about fruits. Because fruits happen when roots are watered, not when leaves are  sprinkled with water. Pretending to care for life but killing it slowly by ignoring your roots, design and truth. 

Aum Dum Durgayae namaha 

May Durga the fire of Shiva burns your old dry leaves of memories and beliefs and let new flowers of life blossom. 

MAY YOU HAVE COURAGE TO LET GO OF WHAT IS GOING AND OLD. 

MAY YOU HAVE COURAGE TO BECOME NEW AND WELCOME NEW YOU. 

This new is called HARIAUM 

🙏🙏🙏